Lead, Follow, Get Out of the Way, or MYOB

Who's in Charge Here?

Another episode in my section, Weekly Diatribe:

Lead, Follow, Get Out of the Way, Or Live Your Own Life.

The expression,” Lead, follow, or get out of the way” has surfaced numerous times in our culture.  It has reportedly been said by Thomas Paine and General Patton, as well as countless others.  You’ve got to admit, the expression has a certain ring to it.  It seems so incontrovertible.  Yet, I always have a negative reaction when I hear it. No, nothing strong, just a sense of distaste.  So, I finally got around to really thinking about it.

The first thing, radical individualist that I am, is that I resent that the phrase is a command. Sure, it gives us choices, but what if I don’t like any of the choices?  Do I still have to pick one?  Who is giving this command, and why should I give a damn?  I don’t like the expression because somebody, whoever it is, is presuming authority over me.  Screw ‘em.  That’s my usual response to people who try to suck me in; screw ‘em. 

People want me to choose between republicans and democrats.  Screw ‘em. People want me to choose between black and white.  Screw ‘em. People want me to choose between rich and poor.  Screw ‘em.  But I do, in fact, engage in some either/or considerations.  For instance, when considering a choice between honest people and dishonest people, I associate as completely as I can with honest people.  Given that there are honest and dishonest people among all races, income levels and political parties, I really have no reason to artificially differentiate along lines that don’t matter to me.  Honest/dishonest.  Who is who is all I really want to know.

But perhaps I should clarify a little.  After all, what is honesty?  Are you honest?  Am I?  Would either of us pass muster with Diogenes?  We are fallible.  We have our blind spots.  Anyone who suggests different about themselves, is being dishonest.  Anyone who thinks that there are only two sides, and that their side is always right, is VERY dishonest.  Not just to the rest of us, but to themselves.

I could go on and on about this, and I have previously  And I will again.  But for now let me say, I will follow only those who I choose to follow; and they will have to be scrupulously honest, or forget it.  I have no desire to lead.  I just don’t.  That leaves getting out of the way.  Why the hell should I get out of anyone’s way?  By what right do they command it?  Maybe they have a good reason.  If they do, I will listen.  But they’d best soften their command into a request.  You know, something like, “Please kind sir, could you get out of our way?”  If not, then screw ‘em.