If I Were You
But I'm not you. Now what?
If I were you.
There’s an old expression; “Same old shit, different day.” Life can be like that. But there’s another old expression; “Dare to be different.” Life can be like that, too, I guess. If I were you, I’d...wait a minute...I’m NOT you. And you’re not me. Can I give you meaningful advice on how to be you? Can you do as much for me?
There’s yet another expression; “He marches to the beat of a different drummer.” But that implies that the rest of us march to the beat of the same drummer. And what drummer, exactly, would that be? It implies that someone else is calling the shots, and the rest of us just follow along. That seems disturbingly true.
OK, and here’s yet another old phrase; “To thine own self be true.” So, near as I can tell, the sage wisdom of the ages is that we should all be essentially the same, but different. Thanks for nothing, Oh sage master.
If I were you. But I'm not. How much are you and I alike? How much are we different? How much does it matter? Here’s my own sage answer; Don’t worry about it so much. Chase your own dreams, but don’t forget you live in the real world. Don’t forget that others are chasing their own dreams. Maybe you can chase dreams together with them, but maybe your dreams clash.
I’m happiest when I’m doing my own thing my own way, but I don’t want to go off into the forest and be a hermit. I like associating with others, and certainly I need others in my life to fulfill my needs. And some people need me. I’m not them and they aren’t me, yet we can see to each other’s needs and wants. It works, if we are considerate at a rate at least equal to the extent to which we expect to be considered. And here’s another old saying; “Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself.”
I think that’s the ultimate old saying, at least sociologically speaking. If I were you. I’m not, but I should respect your right to be you as much as I respect my right to be me. And yes, I’m going to expect the same consideration from you, whether you like it or not. Don’t try to see me by the light of your own illumination. Show me yourself by the light of your own illumination. And I will illuminate myself. Perhaps, the two lights, shining together, will light a brighter path for both of us. Maybe not. If not, then which of us should change? That's right, neither of us.
There’s another old saying; “They were like ships passing in the night.” There’s a sadness implied in that, but it’s far better than two ships colliding head on.
Here is a song by The Asylum Street Spankers that has almost nothing to do with my essay, except its name: If I Were You.
But it’s a great song by a great band, and naming this essay made me think of it. If you want to feel good, but a little melancholy, play this one.
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