I Hate Consensus, Don't You?

Real men don't agree on everything...

CONSENSUS

I think we’ve finally reached a consensus. That’s a good thing, right? Consensus about what, you ask? Does it matter? The main thing is that we reach a consensus. Consensus is its own reward.

If I’ve done this right, you are thoroughly confused by now. Let’s try to sort it out. Is consensus an intrinsically good thing? Are all decisions and actions best made by consensus, in lieu of individual initiative? For example, how about if you and I need to decide what color to paint the living room. I want it to be blue, but would settle for yellow. You want it to be green, but would also settle for yellow. Perhaps the consensus would be to paint it yellow. Neither of us gets what we really want, but we both get our second choice.

Is that really for the best? Maybe one of us should get our first choice, and then the other gets their first choice on some other occasion.

I purposely left out an important consideration. Whose living room is it? Mine? Yours? Ours? I never said. Do either of us own the property or do we rent, and therefore must ask the landlord for permission to paint. (I wonder what color she likes.) Details, details.

Now, whose country is it? Yours? Mine? Ours? Well, ours, for sure. Right? This would be a good time for me to remind you that the United States is plural, not singular. There are fifty states, not one. But it is one country, right? No, it is not. Is Europe one country? Is the European Union one country? Is NATO one country?

This is getting trickier and trickier, and all we wanted to do was pick a color for the living room! Still, we do need to reach consensus on marriage law, educational standards, and healthcare. Says who? Does France feel compelled to reach a consensus with Germany on any of those concerns? Nope, they each do it their own way.

Are Pennsylvania and Arizona under any obligation to reach consensus on any of this? Absolutely not. Is there any benefit to reaching consensus, even when it is not required? Perhaps. I’d be willing to discuss that matter. But I won’t be discussing it under the pretense that I am required to participate, because I’m not. Nor are you. It’s not about democracy, folks. It’s about our right to our own choices.

They say that democracy is a terrible form of government, but that it’s still far better than whatever is second. But there is another pragmatic choice here, NO government. Funny how we aren’t encouraged to reach consensus on THAT. Yes, we need some government. But we have little consensus on how much or what kind.

In anything I’ve done in my life, almost invariably, when the best way forward is not evident, don’t move. Stay where you are until you work it out.

So, should there be consensus for its own sake? After all, if we all agree with each other, then there is no stress, no tension, no finger pointing. Oh, joy.

But there is another way to have no stress, tension or finger pointing, even without consensus. Just don’t do it! In a remake of the golden rule, “Have no expectations of others that you would not let others have of you.” That pretty much throws consensus out the window.

Who can get legally married, what should students be taught (and not taught), and how should healthcare be provided? Do you think there’s a ‘right’ answer to any of those considerations? There is not. Should there be consensus? I’d be fine with it if there was, but there isn’t and there isn’t going to be. Get over it. Are you prepared to abide by somebody else’s choice just because they have the power to force you to abide? Not in a free society, you don’t.

If I own the living room, I can paint it any color I want. If I have a spouse, consensus of two will need to be reached. Outside of that, anyone can express an opinion about my living room, but no one else has the right to be involved in the decision making.

I can personally accept any marriage that I see as valid, or reject any marriage that I see as invalid. What effect does that have on the actual married couple in question? Only as much as they want it to. If they care what I think, fine. If they don’t, they don’t.

The education of my children is of whatever nature I and their mother decide. Anyone else can express an opinion, no one else gets to decide.

My healthcare is for me to decide and for me to pay for. Why would that responsibility be put in someone else’s hands?

If this seems strident, far from it. I’m the reasonable one. If you think we must all work together, yada, yada, yada, then you’re the strident one.

Have whatever opinion you want about anything you want, but before you force it on anyone else, how tolerant are you of having others force things on you? Don’t be a hypocrite.

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So, I thought I’d look for a song about consensus. Slim pickings.

But I did come up with this video. I can’t decide if it’s more funny than it is sad, or more sad than funny. And I have no idea if I’m supposed to take it seriously. But it does reinforce my faith in individualism…

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