How hard did you try?
You get out only what you put in.
Practice Makes Prefect
Getting good at something takes practice. There can be many such instances. Perhaps you play a sport and practice at swinging a bat or shooting baskets. Or you practice a musical instrument. One thing that I practice is guitar. I’ve played for decades, off and on. An odd thing I’ve noticed about practicing and getting good at something is, if you take it seriously you never feel good enough. But if you don’t take it seriously, you do feel good enough.
A person who only plays pick-up softball games probably won’t spend too much time practicing batting, and they will never get really good at it. But that’s OK. They just like playing softball. But a major leaguer will spend hours in the batting cage, working on his swing. He needs to do that, because the pitchers are spending hours perfecting their pitches. None of them is ever ‘good enough’. So, they keep practicing.
I do that with guitar. It’s not enough to hit the right note, or to get all six strings to ring true on a chord. The point of the guitar is the music. The sounds must flow naturally, rhythmically. Strumming the chords to Kumbaya is simple enough, effortless even. But the trickier stuff, well, I’m never good enough.
Is any of this a reflection on life in general? Do relationships need practice? Perhaps it depends on how good you want to be at relationships. Some people, I think, treat relationships with all the seriousness of that pick-up softball game. Get in and play for a while, and then go do something else. Good relationships, worthwhile relationships take practice. The need for social interaction is natural, but being good at it is not. Infants know they want to be cuddled and cared for, but they have little to contribute, for their own part. That part is learned. Contributing is learned.
There are some things that I do on guitar that are so easy, I am perfectly satisfied with the way I do it. Other things, despite having worked on them for years, still have not reached a level of perfection and consistency that I can be satisfied with. So I keep practicing, even knowing I may never really ‘get there’. I think life should be that way. Day to day, things should be mostly easily satisfying. Put reasonable effort into your life and relationships and be satisfied with what you get. You’ll flub now and again, but just move along. On the other hand, look at the things that you know need to be better, and work on making them better. Is there a perfect relationship? No. But they can be better. It takes practice. You have to want it to be better before it gets better.
And one other thing. Nobody can make me a better guitarist. It’s up to me. Same for other endeavors. If you think the problem with your relationships is that others aren’t doing enough, maybe they aren’t the real problem…
Comments?