Don't Be Too Sure About That
Nothing better assures being wrong than being sure you're right...
Don’t Be Too Sure About That.
“I’m on a winning streak at the casino. I need to keep playing while the dice are hot.”
“I’m on a losing streak at the casino. I need to keep playing in order to get my money back.”
Both of the above are what we call flawed logic. What’s flawed about it is that it’s not logic, it’s rationalization. Rationalization is when you start with the conclusion, and then seek to justify it with false logic.
“All these storms are the result of climate change.”
“The problem with our relationship is that she/he is always judging me.”
“I’m the one doing the job at work, so I should be the one to decide how to do it.”
Conclusion first, then the rationalization.
Here’s how it could be:
“There sure have been a lot of storms lately. I wonder if it’s the result of climate change. I’m sure not qualified to determine that, but maybe I can find a climatologist, or at least a meteorologist, who can inform me.”
“It seems like she/he keeps judging me. Do I deserve that judgement as a result of my behavior, or is she/he being too picky? Perhaps we should get counseling so that an impartial expert can evaluate. Even if the relationship fails, we’ll both be better equipped to make future relationships succeed.”
“I keep getting into hot water, taking my own initiative in what I think are productive ways. But the boss gets po’d. To what extent have I ever been instructed to use my own initiative? He’s/she’s the boss; I need to make sure I understand what he/she wants, and not presume that what I want is what he/she should want.”
If only this essay had no value except as instruction to middle schoolers. Unfortunately, millions of grown adults rationalize in absurd ways and to absurd degrees. Yes, we all rationalize to a degree. We all have egos. We all want to believe we’re right. We all want to believe that a conflict is the other person’s fault. And so, we start with the conclusion that we are good, and we are right. And then we rationalize that any problems we have are somebody else’s fault. Am I right about this? Of course, I am. Do not disagree… Just kidding. Go ahead and disagree if you want to, but you would be wrong... That gets a little grating after a while, doesn’t it?
Still, I know I’m right, because we the people all agree that we are right, and that those other people are horrible and they must be stopped, in order to save democracy. Yes, I’m being facetious. Unfortunately, we’ve all heard nearly those exact words from people who expect to be taken seriously.
Here’s some advice, whether you want it or not. Spend a few silent minutes, right now, and write down the three biggest concerns in your life. They may concern your personal life, your career, or government. Write them down. Now, write down why those problems exist.
This was a test. If you find that your three problems are the result of ‘other people’, you may be rationalizing. If you find that those problems are more the result of your own actions or inactions, and that it’s up to you to address them, you just might be a responsible adult.
This was a simple test, and by itself proves nothing. Just something to think about. But remember, rationalizing is not real thinking. Thieves rationalize their thievery. Spouse abusers rationalize their spouse abuse. Gamblers rationalize their gambling.
Don’t rationalize. Think. Contemplate. And as I frequently say, the more sure you are that you’re right, the more likely you are to be wrong. Being sure means no longer evaluating and considering contrary possibilities.
Rationalizing takes moments. Developing comprehension goes on and on. That’s one way to tell the difference.
Well, here’s a coincidence: Shortly after writing this, I started reading ‘The Righteous Mind’ by Jonathan Haidt. Haidt is an established psychologist whose books delves into what I’ve said here. I’ll give myself credit for having figured it out for myself. But certainly, Haidt goes into greater depth.
Comments?
Well said! Good advice. Thanks