Do Unto Others...
You can't help others if you don't know what they want. Do you ever really listen to them?
Do Unto Others
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” That’s the Golden Rule. I’ve thought of that as being the ultimate rule, the one rule that, if we all followed it, there would be few problems between us. But don’t almost all of us inherently follow the Golden Rule? Don’t you treat others as you would like to be treated? Maybe you only think you do.
People tend to think that what is good for them must be good for everybody. Well, perhaps not. People talk of what is right for America. But they tend not to talk in terms of how different we all are, that we don’t all need and want the same.
So, if I do unto you as I desire to have done unto myself, that might be exactly what you don’t want. Do you want to live by my standards? Do I want to live by yours? If you think we must all find common ground, you’re already doing unto me differently than I would wish. I don’t want us all to be the same; I want us all to be different. That’s fortunate, because we are all indeed different. It's always been that way, and always will be
[Editorial thought: The words ‘Divisiveness’ and “Diversity’ clearly have common roots. Chew on that for a while]
For the Golden Rule to be wise and not hypocritical, we need to reconsider it. Don’t do unto others as you would have done unto you. Rather, show the consideration that you would have shown to you. However strongly you want your opinions to be considered by others, consider other’s opinions as much. However sure you are that you are right, recognize that your adversary is equally sure that they are right. To whatever extent that you feel justified in forcing your view on others by virtue of passing and enforcing laws, recognize that they have equal right to do the same to you.
Well, that sure as hell take all the fun out of being strident!
Robert Frost’s poem, “Mending Wall” talks figuratively of neighbors maintaining a wall simply because it has always been there. Even as the two neighbors, each on their own side of the wall, work to make repairs to that wall, Frost contemplates whether they even need the wall. The wall may have served a purpose in the past. Does it still? Social conflict is a form of tearing down the figurative wall. But some want that wall. They have a right to want the wall, whatever wall it might really be. Some want to build new walls in new places. They have a right to want them, just as everyone else has a right to reject them.
Do unto others. Does that mean build the wall that you want, and then claim that you are doing it for others? Does it mean tear down a wall, and claim you are doing it for others? No, that’s hypocritical. I’ve heard people say, too many times, that they are “Speaking for all Americans.” Or, “What America wants is…” People who talk like that scare the hell out of me. In reality, the very idea of America is that we will always disagree. The USA was born of the Age of Enlightenment, the brand new age in which the individual was held in higher regard than the rulers.
“Do unto others.” Not “Do to others,” but “Do unto others.” Expect no more consideration than you are willing to show. Expect no more tolerance from others than what you are giving. Don’t expect others to presume you are right, while you presume that they are wrong. When you spew hatred against others, don’t be offended when they return that hate.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Don’t misinterpret that. Don’t take the phrase to mean that what you want done unto you is what you should do unto them. ‘They’ may not want that. I’ve had politicians tell me with kindness and consideration what they’re going to do for me. They are deaf when I tell them that’s not what I want. Many community activists speak of how they’re going to benefit us all, and then reject the views of anyone who doesn’t want what they’re promoting.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” The irony is that many think they are observing that rule even as they dedicate their lives to forcing others to comply with their wishes. What if what a person wants done unto them is to be left alone? What if they want to be shown equal consideration, even though they don’t have the power to force you to? What, then, would you do unto them?
And, in a continuance of playing songs that almost make my point, there is this:
The "platinum rule": Treat others as they would like to be treated.