Cyborgs 'R' Us
What will it be like, 20 years from now?
Wired Magazine Editorial
We here at Wired pride ourselves on being entirely up to date on the latest developments in technology, and in what they mean to you. It is only fitting that we publish this letter to us from John Simmons, who we featured back in our May 2045 issue as the first person to legally marry a cyborg. As you probably remember, we went into quite some depth concerning the personal, legal and practical realities of such a marriage. We saw the marriage as the beginning of a new, significant era in the development of ever more useful and practical cyber relationships. We stand by our belief that cyber marriage is the future. It was with no little fanfare that we featured John in our May 2045 article. However, John has come to see things differently after several years and we at Wired feel obligated to publish his letter. Judge for yourself.
To the Editors at Wired:
First, I want to say how much I appreciate the time you took to discuss and to feature the wedding of ALMA and me back in 2045. We were all hopeful of a future devoid of the usual marital conflicts of a human/human marriage. We all know how troubled they are, with two humans struggling for supremacy. It’s so very much more practical in a human/cyborg relationship, where no such struggle exists. But while I still recognize the advantages, I have come to see the disadvantages. And let me say, right from the start, this is no fault of ALMA’s; it's about me. ALMA has been everything a cyborg should be. Tes, she does have her faults, what cyborg doesn’t? But she does an excellent job of seeing to the provision of food, keeps track of our accounts, budgets and, yes, the sex is great.
Yet, something was wrong. I couldn’t quite figure what it was and, to be honest, I’m still not exactly sure. It’s not so much about what is wrong with what we’ve got, but that there is something missing. For some reason I almost feel that it would be better for me to have a relationship with another person in which I must show them some consideration, just as they must do for me. It’s hard to explain. Why would anyone want to do that? Like I said, maybe it's just me. But with the perspective I’ve developed in this marriage, I now look at human/human marriage in a different light. In such marriages, common ground must be developed, and I think that in doing that, both people develop a bond that just might not be possible in a human/cyborg relationship. I know that’s backwards. The whole point of computer technology is to make life as easy, fun and stress free as possible. And I have that with ALMA. But I see people in human/human marriages that seem to have some element to them that I am not experiencing. Understand that some of my best friends have human/human marriages; I see them together and I sense that the sacrifices and compromises they make forms some sort of bond that I am not experiencing. I know it’s backward, but that’s the sense I have.
Yes, I’ve had counseling, both separately and together with ALMA. But even with the obvious skill and resources of the counseling software, it just doesn’t seem to help. I started talking with a friend who is married to a human and I have to say, even though he’s not an expert, he has been very helpful. It’s from him that I’ve developed more of a sense of what I am missing in my marriage. But it has taken some time, and I have to say I still don’t entirely get it. ALMA and I have spent time with Joe (not his real name) and his wife, and I marvel at how they can disagree with each other and LIKE it! It seems almost perverted, in a sense. Who needs that stress? Yet, it seems to invigorate and deepen their bond. My relationship with ALMA has not grown and I see now that it can’t. She is always the perfect attentive woman. She can’t improve. Honestly, as I’ve struggled with this, I’ve asked myself how she could be better, and I can think of nothing.
So, it must be me. That’s hard to deal with. After a lifetime of proper reinforcing of my ego, I feel deficient. Even the counseling program didn’t help. It was with a heavy heart that I found a chance to speak with Joe privately about this. I told him, and he laughed! Somehow, I wasn’t offended at his laughing at me. He told me I was just fine, but you can’t have a relationship with a robot. That was the crux of my problem. Of course, my first reaction was that he was wrong, yet it seemed right. He told me about an old movie, back in 1975, The Stepford Wives. We watched it together. Wow! It’s odd, because in 1975 the cyborgs were played by actual women, since they didn’t have cyborgs. It was odd, watching women playing the part of cyborgs playing women. But I saw Joe’s point. It’s just not the same without another human. There’s something to this ‘give and take’ that they talk about. It makes both people better. No, I still don’t get it, but I see it. I want to see if I can make that work. So, with this letter, I am announcing that I am divorcing ALMA. I will seek what I am missing. ALMA is still in great shape, nearly as good as new, so if anyone is interested, I will sell her at a very reasonable price.
John Simmons
Comments?
This is the most hilarious thing I have ever read! Even before you mentioned the Stepford Wives, I made the connection myself. My dad and I watched that movie several years ago, and it really stuck with me. A lot of people now misunderstand the film as a misogynist's fantasy and hate it for that reason. I, however, see it as a cautionary tale. The film's source material, a novel of the same name by Jewish American author Ira Levin (Who also, interestingly, wrote The Boys from Brazil,) is much in the same line - although the film departs from it slightly with regard to the ending. Overall, the message is the same - and it's not a happy message.